"when you look in the mirror, what do you see?"
i read that today.
when i look i see indiscriminate rage hidden behind a natural pout.
don't ask me why contempt seems to be my middle name and cynicism has refused to be quelled any longer. i have no reason why my winter personality has scuttled out from under it's rock when the sun still shines outside.
i have a negative energy that's welled up inside me with no inspiration to allow an outlet. i feel vengeful and angry and resentful of the vast majority.
i found comfort in the words of an old friend over bicycle discussions and sangria the other day. aside from that it's taking all self-control to not physically hurt something these days. i think my ability to tuck away the hurtful moments has completely left me and instead of being sad or upset about these things i've just gone bat shit crazy.
my palms itch for an outlet.
i need to go to paris.
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