GRE

thursday is my grad school exam.

i've literally been going crazy studying

for it and still don't think i have a fighting

chance. By monday my full application (hopefully)

will be off to UBC and i'll be back living where

i am happiest. I kind of clued into how

bad i want this yesterday. which adds loads to

the pressure on me to succeed thursday.

it's not that i want to go to gradschool that

badly, it's just that i want to get out of

this place. winnipeg and associates is a leech

sucking me dry.

i had a mini-mental-breakdown this morning

due to a stupid comment opening the floodgates

of the stress that's been hanging around these

shoulders this past year. i get that moving away

won't fix (or cure) anything, but it tends

to give me the space i need to operate optimally

with family, friends, and self.

if anything, by thursday afternoon i'll have

vanquished a hurdle that's been looming over

my life for over two years.

so at least i can feel good about showing

up to the exam. even if i fail it horribly.